Fluffy Fashion Fail

This is the dress I bought . . .only I will not wear nude heels with it.  Ew.

Torrid is my . . .fat girl heaven, the queen of under 50 plus size clothing.  I call it the chunky girl's Hot Topic/Forever 21 because they have the freaking cutest clothes for plus sized girls I've ever seen.  I even have a few friends who envy the clothes made there because they only go down to a size 12 and go up to a size 32! Let's remember that a size 12 is a rarity in most clothing lines because they think it is too big. I am a fluffy 14 or a slim 16 in dresses, though let's be honest: 99% of that is bust size.  Last week I found a va-va-voom dress (pictured above) on the clearance rack that showcases that 99% and I just had to have it.

Now here comes the fail part:  I paid $30 for a sexy dress (spandex reinforced sexy, but still . . .)that would have normally been $120.00.  Yes, I got a steal, but I had to drive two towns forty-five minutes away and hunt forever for this deal and felt like I found buried treasure when I found it.  Why?  Because God forbid we have cute clothes that fit plus sized girls within a 20 mile radius of my small town.

That being said, I understand where some of these "first of the month" women are coming from when they can't find nice clothing to fit them and their wallet..  I get it, I really do.  What I don't get is why they think they must cram themselves into clothing that simply does. not. fit. Dear God, honey, if you wear a size 22, buy a size 22.  No, it may not be pretty, and it probably won't be flattering if bought in our small town but it will cover the aspects of your body in which I do not want to know about. It possibly cannot be as unflattering as showing off all 200+ lbs of you that only your significant other should be privy to. 


Also, there are ways of making not-so-cute clothing cute, personal, and flattering if you have five seconds to try. I have a large bust . . .I do not like shirts of any kind because there is no possible way to cut a shirt outside of being a turtleneck that it doesn't look "provocative" on me.  However, there are these cute little clip in booby-hiders at Wal-Mart $10 for 3 in the black, nude, and white.  I can buy a shirt and clip one of those on my bra: ta-da, a cute shirt that doesn't show everything I've been blessed with.  You want shorts for the summer and all they sell are daisy-dukes?  Make your own from those jeans you've been wearing all winter.  Or go buy a $2.99 pair from Goodwill and do the same. That 2xl shirt that looked so cute on the rack make you look pregnant?  Loop a skinny belt under the smallest part of your torso (mine is just under the boob line) and now you just look fashionable and not pregnant.

On the same note, while cramming yourself into clothing that definitely doesn't fit is painful for both your body and your ego, buying clothing a size too big is not flattering!  It makes you look like you're playing dress up in mommy's clothing! I know it is hard to get out of that "but what if I gain weight?" mentality, but you have to think of the present for some essential items: a good pair of dress slacks (too big looks sloppy), a nice office-apparel shirt (again, sloppy), a special-occasion dress (how can you feel special in a tent?), an old stand by that you can rely on to always look good in (be it a favorite blouse, pair of jeans, or a skirt/dress).  Buy it to fit or modify it (like the above suggestions) because no matter if you're a size 12 or a size 22, whether you shop at Torrid or Goodwill, you don't have to be a victim of fluffy fashion fails.

Advice from a Rewedded Divorcee

Just recently I married the man of my dreams.  We have both been married before so in this second go-around we're learning a lot about marriage, ourselves, and life in general. I'd like to share some of the things I know I've had to take into consideration.

1. Just Because You Failed Before . . . .

Doesn't mean you'll fail again. You're human, yes, and so is he.  But God put you on this Earth to live and love and learn. You'll both fall short daily but it is a learning experience in how to not make that same mistake again and if you do or he does how to forgive yourselves and each other.  Don't expect this marriage to fall apart over little things or even big things just because the last one did.  You're a different person married to a different person.  Embrace that fact, learn where to draw the limits on your expectations, and carry on.

2. Relax, Laugh, Enjoy

It's 3:30 p.m. and Mr. Right will be home in ten minutes.  Dinner isn't cooked, the house is a mess, and you're grumpy, frumpy, and just not got it together.  I've been there, your mom has been there, your best friend down the road has been there, honey, so don't sweat it.  Relax about the house-you'll get it done in your own time, Laugh about how you look and feel-if you laugh about it so will he, and Enjoy the time with your husband-he loves you not in spite of imperfections but because of them.

3. Give Credit Where It's Due.

He works hard and so do you-whether you're a stay at home wife/mom or a full time employee with a career on the fast track.  So when he comes home and does nothing, appreciate the fact that he had a hard day at work and when he comes home to mow the lawn and take out the trash, appreciate that too.  Thank him for the hard work he puts in and you'll find that he appreciates what you do too. 

4. Enjoy "Me" Time

He's taking off with the guys for the night or locked himself up in the den with his video games/book/geek hobby of choice? That's just fine.  Get you a good book, turn on your favorite drama show that he hates, or just do that thing you enjoy most.  It's okay to have individual time, you don't have to be glued together 24 hours a day.  I personally feel like there is nothing like quiet time with my husband, but I'm rarely quiet enough for him to enjoy it!  So when he retreats away into his own world (sometimes it's as simple as plugging in his laptop and spacing out right in the same room as me), I turn to my own hobbies and interests.  It also gives us something to talk about that spending every moment together cancels out.

and finally . . .

5. Let Go and Let God

I know, I know this is cheesy and cliché. But once again, God put this wonderful man in your life for a reason.  Let go of the bad things that happened in previous relationships and trust that God is in control.  You bad mouthed your ex, he bad mouthed you, you both know what happened.  None of this applies to the man you're blessed with now.  He loves you in a special and kind way that only he can and holding onto the past hurts him in a way he doesn't deserve.  It also creates problems that aren't really there.  If I thought about how hateful my ex was all the time, then I start to imagine my new hubby is acting the same way when really he's not. Let go.