Advice from a Rewedded Divorcee

Just recently I married the man of my dreams.  We have both been married before so in this second go-around we're learning a lot about marriage, ourselves, and life in general. I'd like to share some of the things I know I've had to take into consideration.

1. Just Because You Failed Before . . . .

Doesn't mean you'll fail again. You're human, yes, and so is he.  But God put you on this Earth to live and love and learn. You'll both fall short daily but it is a learning experience in how to not make that same mistake again and if you do or he does how to forgive yourselves and each other.  Don't expect this marriage to fall apart over little things or even big things just because the last one did.  You're a different person married to a different person.  Embrace that fact, learn where to draw the limits on your expectations, and carry on.

2. Relax, Laugh, Enjoy

It's 3:30 p.m. and Mr. Right will be home in ten minutes.  Dinner isn't cooked, the house is a mess, and you're grumpy, frumpy, and just not got it together.  I've been there, your mom has been there, your best friend down the road has been there, honey, so don't sweat it.  Relax about the house-you'll get it done in your own time, Laugh about how you look and feel-if you laugh about it so will he, and Enjoy the time with your husband-he loves you not in spite of imperfections but because of them.

3. Give Credit Where It's Due.

He works hard and so do you-whether you're a stay at home wife/mom or a full time employee with a career on the fast track.  So when he comes home and does nothing, appreciate the fact that he had a hard day at work and when he comes home to mow the lawn and take out the trash, appreciate that too.  Thank him for the hard work he puts in and you'll find that he appreciates what you do too. 

4. Enjoy "Me" Time

He's taking off with the guys for the night or locked himself up in the den with his video games/book/geek hobby of choice? That's just fine.  Get you a good book, turn on your favorite drama show that he hates, or just do that thing you enjoy most.  It's okay to have individual time, you don't have to be glued together 24 hours a day.  I personally feel like there is nothing like quiet time with my husband, but I'm rarely quiet enough for him to enjoy it!  So when he retreats away into his own world (sometimes it's as simple as plugging in his laptop and spacing out right in the same room as me), I turn to my own hobbies and interests.  It also gives us something to talk about that spending every moment together cancels out.

and finally . . .

5. Let Go and Let God

I know, I know this is cheesy and cliché. But once again, God put this wonderful man in your life for a reason.  Let go of the bad things that happened in previous relationships and trust that God is in control.  You bad mouthed your ex, he bad mouthed you, you both know what happened.  None of this applies to the man you're blessed with now.  He loves you in a special and kind way that only he can and holding onto the past hurts him in a way he doesn't deserve.  It also creates problems that aren't really there.  If I thought about how hateful my ex was all the time, then I start to imagine my new hubby is acting the same way when really he's not. Let go.