Realization: I will never be "thin."
Hit back: I can and will be fit. Every time I see a few certain members of my family, I hear "my God, you've lost weight! How many pounds?" They aren't being fake or insincere. They are really asking because they're family and they know how hard I work to shed even a pound. None of us are crazy. The realization that I will never be thin is there. I can be fit, though, and I am well on my way to getting to that point.
Realization: I have no willpower.
Hit back: I can work harder to counter that. So I pig out on birthday-cake Oreos and chocolate milk. I'll do a hundred more crunches, skimp on a meal I would normally pig out on, or walk for an extra mile to make up for it. Having no willpower to refuse junk doesn't mean I'm a fatty or lazy. It just means I have cravings I'm not willing to deny. Deprivation makes you desperate for a day off, which leads to two days off, which leads to a week off.
Realization: People will always hate on what they don't understand.
Hit back: Their ill intent has nothing to do with my self esteem. I am going to lose weight and gain weight and work out and be less inclined to do so, because I am human. People have a tendency to hate people who are over weight, classify us as disgusting or lazy. Too few people realize there are physical ailments that keep people like me and thousands of others locked into the obese category. The fact that they don't realize that and want to hate on me and others has nothing to do with my self-worth and self-esteem. I am me. I will lose weight at my body's speed, be it slow or fast. I can tell the pounds are shedding. My family can. If hurtful strangers cannot, then I do not care. Sorry, Charlie, but your opinion only matters to you!
Realization: Looking in the mirror will never not be painful.
Hit back: The mirror is a big fat liar. The person in the mirror isn't who I am or who I want to be. I am strong, I am capable, and I am changing everyday. Whether I see a pound or an inch gone in the mirror or not, I know if I've lost it. My face may show signs of tears shed, smiles smiled, and stress but it does not tell you if the smiles were fake, the tears from joy or pain, and why I was stressed. These are all the things that make me, me not the image I see in the mirror.
Realization: I am not alone, but I am unique.
Hit back: Someone out there understands some of what I'm going through. They might not get everything. They might not understand. They will sympathize because they know what it's like to feel alone. If I reach out to them, someone will answer and if someone reaches out to me, I can respond. There's not a situation in this world where I am completely alone in what I'm going through. This was the best realization of all.
No comments:
Post a Comment